A Personal Message
from the Chef de Cuisine
My esteemed guest,
Abducted from the world's finest restaurants, our talented chefs are chained to the stove – so that you don't have to be! They work ceaselessly to guarantee your pleasure – in fact, their lives depend upon it!
Bon Appetit!
Peft Rittersport
Chef de Cuisine
Feasting Menu
Teasing course
Horse D'oeuvres
Fine chunks from the mane, rough chunks from the hooves.
Shrew Parcels
Bite-sized morsels of woodland mouse topped with a nauseating foam.
Spicklechit Soup
A clear, cold soup of spicklewort & chittles
Feasting Menu (cont.)
Riddled Livers
Rancid offal on a bed of yesterday's leaves
Porcelet Surprise
Live suckling pig surprising you from a cupboard
Chocolat du Cul
A coarse pate of underground fudge presented in a ramekin
Gambler's Menu
- a slice of bread
- a slice of meats
- a slice of cheese
- a slice of salad
- a slice of sauce
- a slice of pickles
- a slice of bread
~ A sandwich ~
Gambler's Menu
Breads
- white
- weft
- Musselnut
- seedy batch
- Punchkin Roll
- rough muffins
- rusty cob
- sour yeasty bloomers
- "hot loaf"
- mouldy old rolls
- a slice of brown bread
Gambler's Menu
Meats
- tripes and piglings
- dear little horsey
- some of brawn
- some of snouts
- bum truffles
- hairy skin king roast
- mysterious eel
- tender loins
- fresh bladder
- chick's pluck
- butter snuffle
- cat
Gambler's Menu
Cheese
- Musty Crumble
- Regal Simper
- Old Dick's Pantry
- Webbledean
- Dog's Crumpet
- rancid cheese
- proper cheese
- Curd Swallow
- whey powder
- Heavy Rickleton
Gambler's Menu
Salad
- Sliver of paltry radish
- crisp delightful lettuce
- half a cabbage
- Nancy Punchpipe
- poisonous tomatoes
- Winter onions
- Hun's pumpkin
- the humble carrot
Gambler's Menu
Sauce
- sloppy juices
- neat secretions
- cock stock
- unguent
- verdigris
- gleet from a silver vessel
- No-man's mustard
- pungent mustard
- crests of waves
- drips and creams
Gambler's Menu
Pickles
- slime
- a tart piece of turnip
- misplaced relish
- pickled lilies
- salty acorns
- snuffwig
- bitter pickles
- crunch
- sordid chutney
- God's coddles
- furry preserve