Hi, I'm Sandi Bugmaché, Editor of Gouge Monkey, the official magazine of the U.T.F. (Ultimate Tusselface Federation)! It's my job to give you the smackdown on every thin-pin, wrestle belly and knuckle slamwich (hold the pickles) from the four corners of the global wrestle-ring. A ring is square and a globe ain't got no corners. Chew on that, fat boy!
O.K. U.T.F.F.Y.I. Here's the rules.
- Rule One:
- There ain't no rules.
- Rule Two:
- No spittin'.
The U.T.F. (Ultimate Tusselface Federation) was founded by Dondogo Ribkin. As the only member, he was forced to fight himself. This was solid gold eye butter to the purists, but inevitably more fighters put their paws to the leather. And this meant more mustard! Boy, did it mean more mustard!
The U.T.F. (Ultimate Tusselface Federation) is comprised of the crème de la best of fierce ruckers. Let's sample their specimens. Enjoy!