Cupboard Love
A cupboard. Night.
- Voice
- Why must I be kept in the cupboard?
- Guard
- Because you defiled Francis.
- Voice
- I am thirsty.
- Guard
- Sup the oil from the hinges.
- Voice
- I am hungry.
- Guard
- Suck the dust from the floorboards.
- Voice
- It is dark.
- Guard
- Set fire to your trousers.
One hour passes.
- Voice
- When will you release me?
- Guard
- You will remain in the cupboard some twenty years.
- Voice
- Might not I have some company?
- Guard
- Who would be your company?
- Voice
- Francis.
- Guard
- No. You would defile him.
- Voice
- I shall be so lonely.
- Guard
- You should have considered that before you committed your defilement.
- Voice
- I did consider it. It was my motivation.
- Guard
- Explain yourself.
- Voice
- I was lonely. Therefore I defiled Francis.
One hour passes.
- Voice
- Have you learnt the error of your ways?
- Guard
- Yes.
- Voice
- Then you may go.
Guard unlocks the cupboard door. Voice emerges.
- Guard
- Where are you headed?
- Voice
- To defile Francis.
- Guard
- Your movements will be monitored.
- Voice
- So much the better.
One hour passes.
- Voice
- Why must I be kept in the cupboard?
- Guard
- Because you defiled Francis.
- Voice
- Love cannot be imprisoned.
- Guard
- Francis does not love you.
- Voice
- I love Francis and my love cannot be imprisoned.
- Guard
- If you loved Francis you would not defile him.
- Voice
- Quite the opposite.
- Guard
- If you love Francis and love cannot be imprisoned, how is it that you are imprisoned in this cupboard for twenty years?
- Voice
- In twenty years I will be free.
- Guard
- You will be an old man. Francis will be an old man.
- Voice
- I will still defile him.
- Guard
- Perhaps then you will never be released from the cupboard.
- Voice
- Love will find a way.
One hour passes.
- Voice
- Help. I have become tangled amongst the coat hangers.
- Guard
- This is a terrible misfortune. I will fetch Francis to untangle you.
One hour passes.
- Guard
- I have brought Francis to untangle you. Once you are untangled you must not defile him.
- Voice
- I promise.
Francis enters the cupboard. Noises off. Francis leaves the cupboard.
- Francis
- I have been defiled.
Song: Perilous Aphrodite. A freakish tableau. The words Ego sum unus, ergo maculo Francis are intoned by the Chorus. Blackout.
Lights up. The stage is empty. The cupboard is ajar. Curtain.