Snuffed Love
Two lovers watch the sun set from the deck of a cruise liner.
- Felissandra
- Oh, Bristian, look! The sun looks just like a strawberry the size of a house.
- Bristian
- It's average.
- Felissandra
- Bristian.
- Bristian
- What?
- Felissandra
- I have whittled you this snuff box.
He regards it.
- Bristian
- It's average.
- Felissandra
- Look, I carved the words “Mother's Ugly Heart Penny” on the lid.
He shrugs.
- Felissandra
- You don't remember?
He shrugs again.
- Felissandra
- On that houseboat on the Broads. Your face was smudged with oil from repairing the engine and you had that dark look about you that only a mother could love and I said, “A penny for your thoughts”. And then we kissed and you slid your hand down my skirt a little way for the first time.
He stares at her blankly.
- Felissandra
- Bristian, why won't you ask me to marry you?
- Bristian
- I don't care for the idea of it.
- Felissandra
- Then I will ask you. Let convention go hang itself until its head is fat and blue and it has soiled its undergarments. Bristian, will you marry me?
One hour passes.
- Bristian
- No.
- Felissandra
- Then I must ask you to return my snuff box.
- Bristian
- It was given to me as a gift. It would be inappropriate to return it.
- Felissandra
- Very well. I will take my leave of you. Take a long look because it will be your last. I shall be dead in the morning.
She exits. He contemplates the snuff box. One hour passes.
- Bristian
- (Shutting the snuff box) It is reasonably well crafted after all. What have I done? Felissandra!
He exits after her. A sailor enters and points to the setting sun.
- Sailor
- An iceberg. This is the Titanic. We are all going to drown.
A storm begins. Curtain.